Cheryll's Writing Journal

Musings, rants and ravings, plus gems of insight nobody wants to hear now that I've finally got them. Also neat stuff I found on the 'Net when I should have been updating this blog....

Wednesday, September 05, 2018

Who Am I?

I want to find out who I'm going to be now I'm grown up...having waited until my sixties, after all. Turns out this is hard to do because so many things are now difficult or impossible due to physical and mental limitations. Which I didn't expect or plan on happening. All of a sudden, I feel my mortality -- like I'm running out of time here -- and there's so much yet I wanted to do, to see, to experience!

My Bucket List is extensive -- and chores, as usual, are getting in the way. Now I understand why my older relatives were downsizing their lives as they approached old age. They sold the house, or gave it to the kids, and moved into mobile homes or RVs or little apartments in retirement communities where cooking and cleaning was done by others. Less chore work!

So, I'm trying to do that, too. Means trimming the Bucket List as well, however. Right now I'm indulging in several creative things I'd always put off till I retired. Only, I haven't retired enough yet! There are still chores, and they use up a lot of time and energy that I'm sure I used to have back in the day. Makes me feel guilty when they go undone because I'm quilting or writing, or just schmoozing with friends.  Gotta work on that. Gotta remember that I have -- I really  have--paid my dues and now I'd better reap the rewards, or I won't ever get them. (No way I'm waiting till Heaven to see the world or take up cake decorating or belly dancing.)

And, amazing to realize, the house doesn't fall down, and the world doesn't stop, because I didn't vacuum this week. Or don't wash dishes after every meal. Or finish the taxes in January. :)

But, I'm still fussing about it. Not as much maybe, but still....

So maybe that's my goal? To have fun before the chores instead of hoping there will be time afterwards? I still have to downsize my do do list to more realistic size...and make up the stash of creative things so that there is more room to see potential goals...AND so that the fun stuff doesn't became a chore, too, of course.


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